I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
