I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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