I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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