suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
