Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
