K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She announced her abortion via fbk
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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