i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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