Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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