how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
