$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
