I can tuck mytits in my pants
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
