he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
