We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
