I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
