How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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