that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
