the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
