My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
