You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
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