I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
