i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
