shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
