i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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