Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
