omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Is it because I queefed?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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