I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
