She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize