Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
