come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
