She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
