Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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