Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
