Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Randomize
