this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
we should paint friendship bongs
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