dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I supernannyed him into submission
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
