Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
