I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
