No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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