I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You dont lie about slip and slides
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
