I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i out mim tonsoeep
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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