I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
