Your tits are I can't wait for
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
