508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
