angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
