no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
