I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
