at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
