we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
