The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
