You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It was a blind-side dick pic.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
