I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
