Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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